Everyone has a story, but they do not feel their story is worth telling. God often chooses to use us to help others by recovering from our tragedy.

Although my front story is different from everyone else’s, our backstories are the same. We have all fallen to our knees and prayed to God for help. We have all had anxiety attacks, and many of us have had out-of-body experiences where we wondered if we could make it through the next day, let alone the next hour.

My husband died tragically on December 13, 2001. To this day, I do not know if his death was a suicide, assisted suicide, suggested suicide, or murder. After his death, I discovered that he lived a double life with numerous affairs and was allegedly part of the Philadelphia mafia.

I had a nervous breakdown, had anxiety attacks daily, had suicidal thoughts, and fell into a state of depression. I had so many questions. “How could I make sense of it all? Where was God, and why did He let this happen? What use was there in going on? Could I ever find joy and hope again? Did I have a purpose anymore, or had it gone to the grave with my husband?”

After months of closing my bedroom door to the outside world, lying in a fetal position, I heard a voice from the television saying, “Why are you lying there feeling sorry for yourself? You are the only one responsible for your happiness.”

The voice was from Joyce Meyer. Joyce is an American Charismatic Christian author and speaker. Her father and other relatives sexually assaulted her throughout her childhood.   She turned to God for help. With God’s help, she turned ashes into beauty and made a difference in many lives.

Shortly after hearing Joyce Meyer’s message from God, I stumbled across an infomercial by Tony Robbins. Tony was selling his Personal Power II – The Driving Force program. “It’s a 30-day program designed to empower you to take back control of your life and make the changes that will transform your life from ordinary to extraordinary.”

I had trouble committing to anything. However, I ordered the course and prayed that I could commit to improving the quality of my life for at least 30-days. I ordered the system and anxiously awaited its arrival. Although I was afraid to venture outside the four walls of my bedroom, I mustered up the courage to take daily walks.

Tony shared how he had hit rock bottom, living in his car, when a dream entered his heart. He knew that the only way to succeed was to read every book he could on self-improvement and apply what he learned.

He discovered that success came by educating himself and then helping others to succeed by assisting them in understanding that their powers lie within themselves.

When the tapes arrived, I set baby-step goals to listen to a lesson a day and do my best to apply what I had learned. Each session ended with a homework assignment to write in a journal by answering questions.

Day 1’s session was “The Key to Personal Power.” That day had two questions. “What two decisions have I been putting off, which, when I make them now, I will change my life?” I thought for a moment, then wrote, “Stop feeling sorry for myself. Stop thinking about the circumstances around my husband’s death and move on.”

I moved to the second question: “What three different things can I do that will be consistent with my two decisions?” Again, I thought and then wrote, “(1) Start writing in a journal to release my thoughts, anger, and disappointments. (2) Start eating nutritiously and take daily walks. (3) Start each day by reading positive quotations and affirmations.”

My favorite quote: “Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.” – Sandra Carey

Sitting back, I put down my pen and thanked God again for how He led me to messages from Joyce Meyer and Tony Robbins. Once again, I cried out for help, and God answered my prayers.

But, thinking about these two people and their influence made me wonder, Has God been trying to talk to me on other occasions through other ordinary people, but I did not recognize His help? Could my healing have started sooner, but I was too stubborn to open my eyes to see or my ears to hear?”

Ever since I was a child, people have made fun of me, accusing me of being a dreamer. Despite their criticism, I continued to have big dreams though I kept them primarily to myself. But God seemed to be saying to my heart that He saw more in me than I ever saw in myself. I heard God say that my “big” dreams weren’t anything as big as the dreams He had for me – for all of us.

It’s incredible how God draws upon ordinary people in our lives to plant seeds of quests, encouragement, love, and more. He planted a seed in me to write my book God Promised Me Wings to Fly: Life for Survivors After Suicide. Although the book’s subtitle is Life for Survivors After Suicide, it is an excellent read for anyone who has suffered any tragedy.

I was in Mr. Fox’s remedial reading class in the seventh grade. I thought plenty of people were more qualified than me to write the book. But God works differently from how we view things. When God expands our territory, it is not about our skill; it’s about God’s will.

I created a plan to be the best person and live my best life in time. I knew becoming the best person wasn’t just for my healing – it was to reach beyond myself to help others. I had to gain much wisdom and go through much pain to heal appropriately before allowing myself to help others get through their grief. It would be disingenuous to help others if I was not in a healthy place.

We are all children of God, no matter what our age. Unfortunately, many children have lost their way. There is no promise of tomorrow in the Bible.   We must treat each day as a gift from God and cherish every moment.

When my granddaughter, Mackenzie, was four years old, she asked, “Mom-Mom, do you know that I have special powers? I wish that I was nocturnal because then I could see in the dark.” I would think that seeing in the dark would be part of her special powers. However, to a four-year-old, it made perfect sense.

“No, I did not know that you had special powers,” I said, looking most impressed at her. “Where can I get some?”

“All you have to do is ask God, and He will give them to you,” she said smilingly brightly.

Today, Mackenzie is twenty years old. At the age of four, she knew that she had special powers. She also had a thirst for a clearer vision to see in the dark.

As we get closer to God, we will begin to remove ourselves from the darkness. We will discover that God’s light and powers are within all of us. It is our job to find out what is already there. I am amazed that such wisdom came from a four-year-old.

When all of God’s children understand that we are not alone and discover that we are the only ones who can embrace our special powers – special healing powers that do not disappear when tragedy and pain enter our lives, we will be changed, healed, empowered. And in turn, we will use those special healing powers to make a difference in the lives of others.

God promised me wings to fly. He promised you wings to fly, as well. There is hope in surviving a tragedy. And not just surviving, but truly thriving and making the world a better place – not despite the tragedy, but because of it.